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My friend Stephen Mayes, a respected photo editor and champion of photojournalists, insists that the Web had a largely salutary effect on the sex lives and love lives of many gay men.

“I had had an incredible disability in the gay world of never having picked up a man in a bar,” Mayes confides over drinks at a speakeasy in Manhattan’s East Village.

Like those caught up in affairs, they could become obsessive, protective of their time in the zone. Herz would make the point in her 1995 book that the wired universe offered “gender options that don’t physically exist.

Like those donning drag, they assumed new names and created parallel identities. For instance, the Lambda MOO virtual world gives users a choice of male, female, neutral, neither, royal (the royal ‘we’), and the natty, insouciant ‘splat’ (*) option.” Women and men would assume cross identities: a member of one sex, disguised as another, would engage in cybersex with Net partners of either gender, or both, depending on the mood and circumstance.

In the late ’80s and early ’90s, cybersex had a limited connotation: virtual-reality kink.