I'm an independent woman..." Interestingly, when you really delve into this statement, I've never seen a woman that wants to be truly "independent" because that simply leads to autonomy and being alone. I suggest that you rethink your position and how it affects your relationship.
We fought a lot during the first months mostly because he was trying to control me and being an independent woman I fought him.
One day when I said I had it (which I did many times before out of fear I would say that so I could protect myself) he accepted and let me go.
Much of what you've described about your relationship sounds like your boyfriend trying to get enough distance to re-grow his own testicles and to find a relationship in which he can be the man.
Do you think that your attitude here is conducive to him feeling sexual towards you?
Three weeks later he called and asked me out to dinner. Over the next 6 months..has taken me out to dinner usually once a week..threw me a surprise birthday party inviting all his friends (I am new so i do not have many friends) ...