I’m still learning about how to balance society’s demands on women and my internal traits.However, now I know I don’t need to suppress my ‘girlish’ impulses in trying to be an independent woman.I stopped going on different social gatherings because I wanted to be like him — being considerate and focusing on our relationship.
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Here are some things I heard from my ex’s: “Why do you have so many male friends? But the same guys would get angry when their own girlfriends tried to drink more than one can of beer.
” “Do you really have to go to all those social gatherings? They wanted to date a girl who was smart and independent enough to handle her own life, but also dependent enough to respect when faced with difficulties.
You can see this contradictory expectation in female heroines of many K-dramas.
The beautiful female protagonist is independent and savvy at her office, but in front of a guy she likes, she’s one step behind, submissive and gentle.
I finally had an answer to the question I had first posed in my early twenties: My outgoing personality, which attracted men, was not an obstacle to developing stable relationships.