We all want to be selfless, but in neglecting our own needs, we diminish our ability to do so.
In the article, “How Selflessness Makes Us Selfish,” published on the Counseling Blog, the author states that when we do not meet our own needs, we begin to seek them from external sources, resulting in behavior that looks selfish.
According to the Power of Positivity, when you are busy taking care of everyone else, you will forget to be kind to yourself.
As I began to set limits and ask for help when I needed it, people began to notice and appreciate my contributions.
According to the Power of Positivity, when you are being too nice to others, you develop unrealistic expectations for them to do the same.
Being able to gently say “no,” without providing too many reasons or arguing it, was key.
At times, I would offer to help the person get themself organized so that they could help themself, or I would refer them to other people and resources.
When I backed off on the constant giving, I was able to spend some time looking within and learning to rely on myself for validation.