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They belittle you, call you names, yell, or “harmlessly” slap, push, or shove you. This is a “one and done.” If it happens even once, then the relationship must end right then and there. Don’t be afraid to get a support group of friends and family to help you follow through if you need to.

If we can be of help to you or someone you know, or if you have further questions, please feel free to contact us by email or call the CMR office as listed below. Alisa Grace ('92) serves as a consultant to the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships where she also co-teaches a class on Christian perspectives on marriage and relationships.

Many people make drastic changes when they start dating (i.e., they stop partying or start rock climbing because you like to rock climb) only to return to their previous behavior patterns after the honeymoon period wears off. They frequently get caught telling little white lies.

I had started dating a young man in the college group at my church.

We had been seeing each other for about two months when I began to notice little things about him that didn’t sit well with me; some red flags were starting to fly.

Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do.

If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs.

They’ve stopped hanging out with their friends, and only want to be with you. They frequently say or text things that are hurtful or unkind.