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I greatly appreciate everyone's input thus far, thanks.
keep it comin' :) You said she is not seeing anyone else because she doesn't believe in that. If you believe a woman will not go back to her husband because she caught him cheating, you still have a lot to learn about people (and sexual orientation might not matter). Remember this is a 10 year friendship, so she should have known something.
In Canada you have to wait 12months being legally separated before you can file for divorce, she's getting her papers signed in September, and I'm sure some legal issues regarding infidelity could arise with the divorce if her and I were to sleep together.
All of her friends and family, as well as mine know we're dating, so it's not like she's uncomfortable.
Believe me, I can tell you innumerable stories of women who dated married, separated, and recently divorced men who were either legally or emotionally unavailable.