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It's popular at the end of a session rather than the beginning, due to the fact that it can send you into a 'K-hole', which renders you unfit for public consumption.Off your rocker A K-hole offers an out-of-body experience, disorientation, hallucinations and generally being completely and utterly off your rocker. "I wouldn't leave home without K; it's not actually bad for you, just gets you completely fucked," a female island visitor had informed me earlier in my trip.

His mate, Dean, was a little quieter because "he done a load of K".

To the untrained, ketamine - also known as regretamine amongs users - is an anaesthetic used mostly on animals.

Three nights is enough for an aul' one - plus, much to my chagrin, the Wi-Fi didn't work, and I couldn't transfer money between my accounts, so I had to forego a straightener, water and food.

I was dying for a dirty burger, a bottle of cold water and a shot of some kind of strong Canadian whiskey to get the head together. I stared as the two lads across from me opened a can of Coke, which made that all-too-familiar 'zish' sound, and considered 'Mundraub' (translated, mouth robbery) - the German for the act of stealing small amouts of food or drink and being allowed to get away with it.

Just like most of the people I met in Ibiza, the boys were part of a larger 'army' of young men. The answer was generally same: "Probably getting off the tits first, then the birds.